Equifinality

先生になりたい！

2010-11-19T02:48:00.000-08:00

１１月１９日　パキスタン２週間目　19th Nov. Day 14 in Pakistan (English to be followed after Japanese)

私がパキスタンに今いて何をしているかをざっと説明。

今年７月下旬の大豪雨に伴った洪水からの復興支援の為、世界各地から国際協力機関やNGOがパキスタンに駆けつけているのはみなさんも知っていると思う。私が働く認定NPO法人国境なき子どもたち（KnK)　http://www.knk.or.jp/act/PAK/top.html　は日本の外務省の援助を受けて２００５年に起きた大地震の被災地支援の為に既にパキスタンのローカルNGOと連帯して教育・人道支援を行っていた。そんな中夏の洪水被害をがあり今度はJPF（ジャパンプラットフォ−ム）の援助を受けて９月から１０月末の水害支援事業第１で４４軒の仮設テントと学用品の配給を実施し、１１月から始まった水害支援事業第２では２０軒の仮設校舎を建てる事業計画を遂行中だ。私はこの事業第２の現地派遣コーディネーターとして東京の本部とパキスタンの活動地を繋ぐ役割をしている。東京の事務局と連絡を取りながら現地視察や活動状況の進み具合の確認、会計、報告書作成また他団体の教育支援関連でのミーティングの参加など随時パキスタンの教育に関係する事なら多方面から情報収集するというのが私の役目。他分野に渡っての知識もつくし色々な意味での経験が積めて、且つやりがいもすごくある仕事に就けて本当にうれしいと思う。色々な不便もあるしストレスを感じたりする事もあるけど学校視察した時の子どもたちの笑顔を見て来てよかった、とすごく思った。

活動地はコヒスタン郡の中に点在していて車ですぐ近くまで行ける所もあれば、８時間以上も歩かないとならない場所もある（まだそこは行ってないけど）。コヒスタン郡はK２で知られるカラコラム山脈とアフガニスタンとの国境近くのヒンドゥークシュ山脈との間に位置する山岳地帯。今回の訪問地は徒歩で２時間弱の所だという。ホテルのあるビシャムから洪水時の土砂崩れで一時通行不可能になっていたカラコラムハイウェイという道路を３０分進み、オフロードに入ってまた３０分ほど入るともう車は入れない谷に出る。そこから一時間ほど降りていくと今建設中の学校の一つ、パロラ公立小学校がある。天気もよく、壮大な山を見上げながらの下山はとても気持ちがいい。青空と緑の山とのコントラストがすごくいい。道々柿がところどころになっていて日本の田舎の風景を思い出した。とても札幌が恋しくなった。

子どもたちはまだ屋根のない青空教室での授業を受けていた。１１月下旬になると急激な気温の低下で青空教室は一時中断しなくてはならない。現地スタッフも一刻も早く仕上げようと子どもたちの為に必死だ。シャイな子どもたちも思いがけない来客に最初はびっくりしていたが元気よく教科書の朗読などしていた。カメラを向けると恥ずかしそうに笑ってなんともかわいかった。そんな人見知りな子達でも学校が終わった途端帰宅途中の私達を追い越して山を駆け上がり高い所からぴーぴーと口笛を吹いて私達の気を惹こうとしてなんとも嬉しくなった。カメラを向けるとまたさらに喜んでいた。子どもは無邪気でいれればそれでいい。

次の日水害支援事業１で完成した仮設テントにも足を運んだ。もう授業も始まっており、生徒の出席数も洪水前とほとんど同じ位まで戻っていた。４４校のうちの女子学校でこの学校は比較的道路から近く、資材などを運び易いという事で、今回に事業２で仮設校舎を建て、その後今使っている仮設テントはもっと遠くで学校を必要としている地域への移動が決まっている。テントの女子学生達は学校が出来た事をとても喜んでくれていて、先生も生徒達はほとんど全員毎日皆勤だといって出席簿を誇らしげに見せてくれた。コヒスタン郡はパキスタンの中でも相当貧しい地域に該当する。。識字率は29%と低いが、特に女性は６％と最悪の割合。ハイバルパフトゥーンハ州一体で女子の教育にはあまり力が入れられていない。そんな中、この学校の生徒に将来の夢を聞くと「先生になりたい」という声が多かった。なんだか希望が見えた気がした！

子どもたちの為に自分に何ができるのか、本当にそんな事わからない。でも何もしないでいるよりちょっとでも何かできる位置にいたいと思う。今のこの仕事がその第一歩になったらいいな、と思う。

Day 12 Pakistan. During Eid holiday

2010-11-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

１１月１７日パキスタン１２日目 17th Nov. Day 12 in Pakistan (English followed after Japanese)

あっと言う間に前回ブログを書いた日から一週間以上たってしまった。やはり仕事が始まり色々な人達と会うようになると時間がたつのも早い。今週一週間今日からのイスラム教の犠牲祭　Eid il Adha　の為仕事がお休み。ずっとやりたかったけどやれなかったパソコンのファイル整理やパキスタンの勉強などしながら過ごした。ずっと入れっぱなしにしていた写真のファイルは全部外付けハードドライブに移した。４０GBほど軽くなりなんだかパソコンの反応が幾分か速くなったような気もする。

１１月８日から１２日まではハイバルパフトゥーンハー州のマンセラ郡、シャングラ郡とコヒスタン郡をそれぞれ廻って来た。マンセラ郡とシャングラ郡のビシャムにはKnKが提携している現地のNGOの事務所があって、そこで仕事をしながらコヒスタン郡の事業現場で建設中の学校視察に行く事になった。マンセラ郡までイスラマバードから４時間、マンセラ郡からビシャムまでまた４時間、と移動だけでもかなりの時間がかかるので、オフィス勤務の時はマンセラ郡近くのアボダバードという街で泊まり、コヒスタンの学校視察の時はビシャムのオフィス脇のホテルに泊まり、週末をイスラマバードで過ごす、というスケジュールとなった。なぜイスラマバードに戻らないとならないかというとやはりセキュリティーの関係で拠点を首都においておかないとならないという事らしい。

最近になって思ったが、イスラマバードが拠点で本当によかった。やはり首都だけあって一応色々と豊富にそろっているし、外国人も一応いるし、比較的寂しくない（と思われる）。息抜きの場もない事もないらしい。（ジムやプールやバーまでもあるみたい。行く気はあまりないけど。）外国の人がパキスタンなどイスラム諸国に来て不自由に思う事の一つにお酒の入手方法があげられる。パレスチナも同様、パキスタンでは原則的にイスラム教徒の飲酒はできないが（している人はいっぱいるけど）、外国人には違法とはしていない。そのためお酒を出すレストランなども少ないけれど存在し、許可証さえあれば入手ルートもある。昔の大酒飲みの頃の私なら入手ルートを探して買いに行く人の気持ちが理解できたかもしれないが、今の私としては探してまで、という気もしてしまう。ご飯食べに行ってそこにあれば飲む事があっても別に４ヶ月アルコールフリーも悪くないとも思う。

お酒が飲めないなんて別に辛くはない。何が辛いか、というとやっぱりちょっとした疎外感かな、と思う。平日の北のほうに行っている間はスタッフと話せるが、休日のイスラマバードにいる間は、知り合いでも出来ない限りずっと一人。そして一人で外に行くのはなるべく避けるように言われている為、ホテルにコモリっきりの事が多い。そうなるとネットは本当に超重要。スカイプでの会話をのぞけば一日中口をきかないで終わる日もある。本を読んだりウルドゥ語を勉強したりしていれば自然と一日終わったりもするが、やっぱり何時間もずっと何も話さないでいるのはストレスがたまる。そんな時は持って来たバランスボールでリフレッシュしてみる。友人達が親切にパキスタンに住む知り合いを紹介してくれた。犠牲祭が終わったら戻ってくるというので楽しみだ。どちらにせよ、今は犠牲祭で一週間休みだけどそれが終わったらイスラマバードにいるのも週末だけだからそんなに寂しくはないのかもしれない。

今回は私が携わる活動について分かりやすく、でも簡単に説明しようと思っていたんだけど、長くなったので次回にまわす事にする。

Day 3 in Islamabad

2010-11-08T05:46:00.000-08:00

１１月７日　イスラマバード３日目　7th November Day 3 in Islamabad (English followed after Japanese)

今日はパキスタン風朝食３日目。そろそろ大丈夫かな、と思い、生野菜食べたかったので少し食べてみた。パキスタンの料理はインドの料理に似ているんだけどどうも脂がすごい。朝から結構こってりのスパイスきいたお料理で、どっしりしてるから量が少なくてもすぐ満足になる。でもやっぱりせっかくの野菜の味が全然わからなかったから生野菜が恋しかった。水道水で洗っているだろうからおなかが慣れてくるまでは出されても食べないでいた。久しぶりに食べたらやっぱりおいしかった。でもちょっとずつ慣らしていかないとね。

今日はホテルオーナーの督永さんが毎週行っているサンデーマーケットに連れていってくれるということで一緒について行った。やはり人がたくさん集まる所に行くには色々と注意がいるので朝一番にまだ人が集まっていない時にボディーガードとドライバーとの４人で向かった。イスラマバードに着いてからの初めての外出ということもあり、車の外を見ると何もかもが新鮮だった。みんな同じような服を着て外で並んでしゃがんでいたり、ほったて小屋のようなお店にたむろしたりしていた。私が行った中東の国々と比べても全然違う雰囲気が漂っていた。

市場はItwar Bazarといって政府が週に三回運営しているらしい。かなり大きな敷地に古着、新しい服、ショール、靴、果物、野菜などジャンルに別れて長い店の列が７列ほどあり、客はまだ少なかったが品物はずらっとならんで色とりどりでとてもきれい。洪水の時はこの市場も被害があり、野菜なども一ヶ月ほど手に入らず周囲の住民はとても苦労したと’おばはん ’は言った。野菜や果物の価格が高騰して大変だったという。今のこの活気のある景色からはとても想像がつかない。ここは他の市場よりも女性の買い物客が多いという事で督永さんもよく使うらしい。

おばはんは古着が好きという事で一緒について行ってみる。色とりどりに天井からぶら下がった洋服やタイツ、ぬいぐるみや下着までを眺めながら歩いた。パキスタンの衣装も売っていて色が本当に鮮やかでうっとりしてしまう。私も北の地方の活動場所に行く時には地元と同じ服装にしようと思っていたので何着かここで買おうと決めていた。やはり地味なものがいいと思い、色鮮やかな若い女性用の服をうらめしそうに横に見ながら、６０代くらいの人が着ていそうな（というかおばはんが着ているものと同じような）色のシャルワールカミース（ダボンとした膝丈のシャツとズボンとショールの三点セット）を４着購入（８００ルピー＞８００円くらい）。日本では着れなそうだがめちゃくちゃ安いから帰る時は誰かにあげてもいい。そして帰る時はきっとあっちの華やかな方を買っていくんだ！と心の中で決めてはやる気持ちを落ち着かせた。パキスタン製のショールも二枚購入。

もっと奥の方に進むと果物が並んでいた。日本にあるものとあまり変わらないものが多かった。りんご、なし、柿、ぶどう。強い香りを放つ私の大好物グアバ！そしてありえないくらい大きなざくろ！あとはなつめやし、ナッツなど。ざくろもグアバもあとで食べたがすごく甘かった。野菜はかなり種類が豊富で色がとても濃かった。トマトは真っ赤に輝いていてレモンとパクチと一緒に並ぶとなんとも美しかった。督永さんは色々な野菜を次々に買っていた。さすがに地元に根付いた人ならではの買い方で超かっこいい。ゴーヤも売っていてカレーにするとすごくおいしいんだとか。今度試してみよう。

買い物が終わる頃になるほど人が増え始めていた。帰りにスーパーに寄って帰宅。２時間くらいでスーパー楽しいお買い物ができた。このItwar Bazaar　とってもおすすめ！督永さんありがとうございました！

It has been 3 days since I started having Pakistani food and I decided I have somewhat already gained an immunity for the local water so I can start eating a bit of uncooked vegetables which I was craving so much for. Pakistani cuisine is usually very greasy even in the breakfast. It is always nice to balance it out by eating something light together. Though every time I was served with some salad, I had to hesitate because usually vegetables are washed with tab water. This morning, I ate a bit of cucumbers and tomatoes and they were really good. I should start little by little though.

The hotel owner, Mrs. Tokunaga kindly took me to a Sunday market called Itwar Bazaar. She likes this market because it is very local, it has a wide variety, and there are many women visitors. Even in the capital city, we have to be careful when we go to a crowded area, so we went there when it has just opened with a company of a driver and a body guard. This was my very first going out ever since I arrived in Islamabad, so everything I saw from the car window was inspiring. Everyone in the street were wearing same clothes and just sitting and hanging out around old shucks and tiny shops. The view was nothing like I had ever seen. It was a very strange site to me.

Itwar Bazaar lined up in a big property and contained various things; second hand clothes, new clothes, textiles, carpets, shoes, fruits, and vegetables. They were lined by categories and making about seven long lines. There were not many people yet, but the products were all making a beautiful color gradations. The Bazaar is run by government and it was severely damaged by the flood over this summer. Mrs. Tokunaga said that it was very hard to get vegetables for about a month after the flood and the price went really high, it affected so many people in the area. It was hard to imagine from looking at this lively view in front of me.

Mrs. Tokunaga wanted to see some second hand clothes, so I went along looking around those clothes, stockings, stuffed animals and even some under wears. There were also various kinds of Pakistani dresses which I wanted to buy for when I visit the northern Pakistan. I wanted to dress like everyone else so I won't stand out. I so very much wanted to get those beautiful color ones, but of course, that will not satisfy my purpose, so I ignored them and bought very very low tone colored ones like those that elderly would wear. I bought 4 sets of them for 800 rupees (about $10). I convinced myself that I will come back to the bazaar when I was going back to Japan and buy those beautiful ones. I also purchased 2 Pakistani made textiles.

When we went deep into the bazaar, there were fruits playing in sunshine. Most of the fruits I have seen in markets in Japan such as apples, oranges, pears, grapes and persimmons. There were also my favorite guavas and huge pomegranates. I ate them later and they were soooo sweet!
In the vegetable section, tomatoes were glowing red and when they were lying next to lemons and celentros, they just looked glorious. Mrs. Tokunaga was buying many kind of vegetables just like the way any locals were and she was looking so cool. I should learn that knowhow some time during my stay. She told me that the bitter melons make really good curry. I want to try it in the future.

As expected, by the time we were done, there were many people coming into the market. We were just on time. She is just great! We stopped by a super market to buy some more and returned back to the hotel. It was only some 2 hours event, but it was a super fun shopping! Itwar Bazaar, highly recommended!
Thanks to you Mrs. Tokunaga!

End of day 3

Islamabad day 2 all day in Lavender Hotel

2010-11-06T04:12:00.000-07:00

11月６日　イスラマバード２日目　
6th November Islamabad day 2 English will follow after Japanese

昨日は熟睡だった。歯を磨いてカーテンを開けた。窓の外を見ると私の大好きなブーゲンビリアの花が真っ赤に咲き誇り、その横にはベッドの置いてある広いベランダのある古い建物。なんか絵はがきのような風景でちょっとまた嬉しくなる。

そして今日が土曜日でよかった！私の愛する方々がスカイプオンラインしてる。うふふ。スカイプの存在に感謝です。まだ２日目だけどきっと時間とともにこの感謝の大きさは膨らんでくるでしょう。そして、待望のバランスボールも膨らんだ！　一人で外はあまり歩かないほうがいいという事もあり、体がなまったら困るかな、と思って買って来たのでした。早速空気をいれるもこれってこんなに力いるのね！びっくりです。明日筋肉痛間違いなしだな。なんとか完成。そしてちょっとエキササイズ。結構いいかも。

朝ご飯の用意ができたという事で早速食堂へ。きのうの夜から楽しみにしていたこっちに滞在中の人達との交流！　と思いきや、広い食堂には一人分のご飯。あれれ？他の人達はもう済んだのか？　聞くとこの３日間は誰も泊まっていなかったとか。あさってからまた人が来るらしい。外を見るとこのホテルの警備で銃を持った人達が何人か行ったり来たり。という事で、かたことの英語を話すスタッフにこの辺の治安について聞いてみる。地元の人だからなのか外を歩くのは問題ないと話す。私は一人で出るのは遠慮すると言うと、マーケットに行くならタクシーも出すし、スタッフ一人同行もできるからいつでもどうぞ、と。心強い人達だ。朝ご飯はアメリカンとパキスタン食と日本食の中から選べる。後の日本食が恋しくなった時の為に日本食はとって置こうと決め、パキスタン食に挑戦。ガルバンゾー豆のカレー煮といったものと薄いパンとコーヒー、アップルジュースといった感じで、インドのレストランで食べた事ある感じのものだった。量は少なかったが、やっぱりガルバンゾーはとてもずっしりしていて食べごたえがあり、味も良く、大満足だった。ちなみにシャシンはランチでオーダーしたいものカレー。こっちは量がすごかった。そしてとてもおいしかった。

朝食の後はこのホテルのオーナー、おばはんこと督永さんにこの辺の事についてお話を聞いた。細かい事はここでは避けるが、とても貴重なお話を聞く事ができた。彼女はパキスタンに３５年前に登山の為にやってきて、何もかもがうまくいかなかった事からこの国に興味を持ち、また愛着が沸いてそのまま移住したとのこと。とてもエネルギッシュな方で著書も何冊かあり、自分のNGOや他にも会社を持っているという。まさに日本とパキスタンを繋げる第一人者といった感じで、いかに日本の常識や価値観をもってパキスタンを判断する事が間違っているかを教えていただいた。自分は日本人だと思うし日本人的感覚が強いが、パキスタンも大好きでパキスタンの事が悪く言われたり、悪い報道しかされない事を知ると心が痛むとおっしゃっていた。その気持ちはよくわかる、と思った。やはり女性一人でこの辺は歩かない方が言いという事で、明日朝マーケットに連れて行ってくださる、という事で、またも私はラッキー！明日が楽しみ！仕事をスムーズにこなすならやはり髪の毛はもちろん、目以外は隠せるようなブルカをつけた方が特にコヒスタンあたりではいいだろうと言う事で明日購入する事にする。

部屋に戻りテレビをつけるとほとんどのチャンネルがウルドゥ語のニュースであった。コマーシャルから戻る時の音楽が「お、何か起きたのか？」と思わせるようなドラマチックな音楽でちょっと面白い。ニュースキャスターもちょっと怒鳴るくらいに大きな声で、映像もほとんどがどこかの暴動なのか人混みの多いシーンが多い。パレスチナにいた時のテレビも似たようなものだった。イスラム圏特有なのだろうか。ずっと見てて結局理解できたのはオバマ大統領のインド訪問のみであった。

今日は書類の整理をして来週からの仕事に備える事にした。日本モードからパキスタンモードにシフトしなくっちゃ！

２日目終了

I had a real good sleep last night. I opened the curtain and found a beautiful view like a postcard. My favorite flower, bougainvilleae (maginuuneh!) was expressing its redness and passion. And there is an old building with a big balcony with an old crib. I was wondering who would be lying there.

Today is Saturday and I am excited to chat with my loved ones on skype! I thank whoever that invented skype and I am sure I will be thanking it even more as the time progresses.

I went to the dining room down stairs for breakfast hoping to talk with other guests and ask about how is the stay in this city. When I entered the room, I found only one set of plates on a table. I then found out that I was the only guest last night. The staff told me that there will be some guests tomorrow. I had a quiet breakfast. I chose Pakistani breakfast out of other options like Japanese and American. I wanted to try the local food and at the same time, I wanted to leave the Japanese option until the day I start missing Japanese food. The breakfast was garbanzo beans with curry flovors with a piece of bread. The portion was quite small, but the taste and the heaviness of the beans made me full and satisfied.　The photo above is curry potato I ordered for lunch. This portion was really big (350 rupees-about $4). mmmm Tasty!
I think I can live in this country!

After the breakfast, I had a chance to talk with the hotel owner, obahan. She has been living in Pakistan for more than 30 years. She is an expert of Pakistan, especially how to live in Pakistan as a foreigner. She once came here 30 some years ago to climb mountains and fell in love with the country right away she said. " Everything went wrong here and I wanted to do the way I wanted to". By the time she got things right, she was attached to this place and shifted her life to Pakistan. She is full of vitality and energy. She runs her own NGO and some other companies.
She said that the most wrong thing to do is to judge Pakistani people and culture through the eyes and the value of foreign cultures and value. It hurts her to hear negative comments and one sided news about Pakistan she said. I can totally understand that point.
She told me if I want to pursue the project acitivity smoothly in Kohistan, she would recommend me to wear burka. I assumed also that that would be better for me. I am lucky again she is going to take me to the market tomorrow morning .

When I returned to my room, I turned on TV. Almost every channel had news on in Urdu. I thought it may help me getting used to the sound, so I kept it on. News casters are almost yelling and reporting about some crowdedness I am not sure what they are all about. I could tell only about Obama visiting Mumbai. The prologue music for the news sounded so dramatic it made me wonder what happened each time. It also kind of reminded me of news I used to watch back in Palestine.

I organized documents and papers for my work. I need to change my Japanese mode to Pakistani mode by force before Monday, the first day of action.

End of day 2

Pakistan Here I Come!

2010-11-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

１１月５日　夜１０時３０分　パキスタン　イスラマバード到着　　一日目
November 5th 10:30 pm Islamabad　English follows after Japanese

バンコクからの飛行機の中ではとなりに座った２３歳のパキスタンパンジャブ出身の青年と会話を楽しみながら５時間すごした。彼は両方の眉毛にピアスをしたちょっとヒップな５人兄弟の末っ子。マレーシアに３ヶ月滞在して今帰国するのだと言った。

私：マレーシアにはどうして行ったの？

リズマン：ディスコで遊びたかったからさ。女の子もいるしね。パキスタンにディスコなんてないから。

私：なんでもう帰ってきたの？飽きちゃった？

リズマン：自分が住んでいた家に新しくインド人のルームメートが来て僕を殺そうとしたから。しかも僕が不法滞在でマレーシアに住んでる事を警察に言いそうだったんだ。

その後実家に戻ったら今までできていなかったジムに行ってムキムキになるプランを教えてくれた。どうしてムキムキになるかって？女の子は筋肉が好きじゃないか！と。ちょっと私引き笑い。。。ガムは常に噛むようにしているという。何故かというと顎がひきしまるからだとか。うーむ。私もやってみようかしら。帰っても仕事はする予定はないらしい。家が土地をたくさん所有しているからこれからはよく食べ、よく寝てよく鍛えるの繰り返しをする、と嬉しそうに語っていた。

眉のピアスは最初は誇らしげに語っていたが、着陸が近くなって来た頃、取るのを手伝ってほしいと言ってきた。やはりイスラム教の人達が周りで取り囲む中、それでなくてもきっと外国人の女性一人って事で注目浴びてる感じがさっきからしていたので、男の人の顔に触れるなんてしたくなかった。軽く話しをそらして断った。おとうさんが向かえに来るからばれたら怒られると言っていた。

着陸してパスポートコントロールで３本の長い列ができた。パキスタン人用、パキスタン人の連れのいない女、子供用（多分男性を連れていないと違う扱いになるという事なのかも。）と、外国人用。外国人の列にはいかにもジャーナリスト風、いかにもNGO風、そしていかにもパキスタン男性と結婚して改宗した女性風の人のみの列となっており、普通の旅行者はいないようだった。運良く、私の前で並んでいた人と話ができ、さらに運よくその人はペシャワールの国連に駐在する日本の方という事で現地の話を少し聞く事ができた。連絡先も交換し、コヒスタンもイスラマバードもそんなに心配する事ないよ、と言われてなんだか安堵した。その人にjicaのイスラマバード駐在の方を紹介してもらい、早速日本人二人を知る事ができて日本人でよかった！と心から思った。

荷物を受け取り外へ出ると、ものすごい人数の人達が出てくる人達の出迎えに現れていた。雰囲気はなんとなくカイロの空港のようだが、みんな同じベージュの長いシャツにズボンを着ていたので異様な感じではあった。子供達が３０人くらい前の方に整列して待ち構えていてとてもかわいかった。その大人数の中に一人「Ms.Sato」のカードを持っている人を見つけ、早速ホテルへ。よかった、わかりやすいカードもっててくれて。

ラベンダーホテルはパキスタンの名物「おばはん」と呼ばれる日本人の方が経営するホテルで、スタッフもとても気がきいていて、部屋も広くてとても快適。こんなホテルを探してくれたKnKの方に感謝しつつ、シャワー浴びてネット環境整えて床へ。ホテルへの道々、ドライバーの人がこのホテルには日本人しか泊まっていないと言っていた。明日は朝食の時に色々情報交換しよう！一日目終了。

From Bangkok, I enjoyed the conversation with a young man from Panjab who sat next to me in the plane. He had a hip look with his both eyebrows pierced. He is a baby brother of 5 sons and was on the way back home after 3 months of stay in Malaysia.

Me: why did you go to Malaysia?

Rizman: I wanted to go to disco! with some girls. There are no discos in Pakistan.

Me: Why did you leave already? Did you get bored?

Rizman: New roommate in my apartment was an Indian and he tried to kill me. Also, I was afraid that he was going to police to tell them that I was an illegal resident.

He told me about his plans of going to gym once he gets back home. He wants to be mucho he said. "why to be macho? Girls like muscles right?"
Rizman kept on chewing gum for the whole time. According to him, chewing gum keeps his chin very slim. mmmm I should perhaps start chewing gum too.
He is not planning of working because he (his family I suppose) owns big properties in Lahore, so he wants to eat well, sleep well and work out well from now on. He looked really happy when he was talking about his plans so I think it is all good.

When we were writing the entry card, Rizman said he forgot his ID and he cannot write down his ID number. I thought it would be problematic, but he said it is no problem. ' We are in Pakistan, it is ok. everything will be ok in Pakistan' and he smiled. What does this smile mean? I guess I will find it out sometime later in my stay in Pakistan.

As we were landing, Rizman started to be worried about this brow pierce which he was talking very proudly about at the very beginning of our conversation. He said his dad is picking him up from the airport and he thought better to take it off. He asked me to help him unscrewing the tudd. I hesitated especially because I was surrounded by all Pakistani people who probably did not like any kind of sexual movements such as a woman touching or getting close to a man's face. I was already feeling some attentions by the surroundings for being a female traveling alone and talking with a strange Pakistani man who was sitting next me. I indirectly and politely refused to help him. He took it off by himself in a short while.

When I arrived in Isalamabad airport, there were three lines at the passport controle. One for Pakistani, one for foreigners, and the last for Pakistani women and children who were unaccopanied by men. I observed the foreigners' line and found very typical looking journalists and NGOs. I also found a few ladies who covered their hair who I suppose are married to Pakistani men. Fortunately, a person who was standing in front of me was a UN operation coordinater who based in Peshawar. Even more fortunately he was Japanese! I asked about how it is like to live in Pakistan in very few sentences and he told me I should not worry too much. He introduced me to another Japanese man who is based in Islamabad working for JICA. I felt really happy being Japanese.

After the luggage claim, I was welcomed by about 80-100 people standing outside waiting for their family and friends. There were about 30 children lining up so straight in front of the adults waiting. They looked so adoreble. Among all those people, I saw a big sign says ' Ms. Sato'. I greeted the hotel driver and took off to the hotel. Thank God he had a big sign. I have no idea how I would have found him otherwise.

The hotel Lavender is owned by a famouse Japanese lady knowned as 'Obahan' (meaning aunty in Japanese Western dialect). The staff was very kind and the room is spacious and comforting. Thanking the KnK staff who found this hotel and I went to bed. I was dreaming about the next morning to have some chats and information exchange over breakfast with other guests who are supposedly all Japanese(the driver said there are only Japanese guests).
The end of day 1

ダダイズムからシュルレアリズム

2009-12-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

最近よく考えさせられるトピックのひとつ、シュルレアリズム。ダダイズムとの関係と、その定義についてとても簡潔にわかりやすく書かれているのをwikipediaにて見つけたので、ここにのせてみました。

それまで重んじられて来た科学技術や精神、歴史なども、突き詰めた結果は第一次世界大戦にしかならなかった。ならばそれを全否定しようと言うのがダダイズムである。芸術界にしばしダダイズムの嵐が吹き荒れた後に、冷静になった人々は第一次世界大戦の失敗は、人類がその光の部分のみを大事にし過ぎ、自らの内に潜む醜い部分から目を背けていたためだと主張し始めた。彼等は光と闇の両方が人間の本性であり、どちらか一方のみで人間を語る事は出来ないのだと、一つの作品内にその両方を描いた。シュールレアリズムの誕生である。

シュールレアリスムでは自動筆記やコラージュなど偶然性の強い手法を用いて、主観や自意識を排して作品制作を行おうとした。シュルレアリストたちはこうした手法を通し、無意識の世界や夢の世界、街の中で不意に感じられる奇妙な感じなど、日常生活などの現実（レエル）に隣接した裏側や内側にある「むき出しの現実」、「超現実（シュルレエル）」を露呈させようとした。超現実の超（シュル）とは「超高速」などの超と同義である。つまり超現実とは現実を離れていたり非現実であるのではなく、「ものすごい現実」「過剰な現実」「上位の現実」というような意味である。

The Metamorphosis by Kafka interpretation by Maria Luisa Antonaya

2009-12-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

Surprisingly, Gregor’s bizarre new state is not the central transformation in the novel. Instead, Kafka uses Gregor’s surreal change as a catalyst for an almost more shocking metamorphosis: that of Gregor’s family, as they move from helplessness and sympathetic fear to emancipation and hostile rejection. In fact, it is Gregor who remains largely unchanged. He struggles to maintain his daily routine during most of the story, until his body finally forces him to surrender and accept that he is no longer fully human. Furthermore, even when confronted with proof of his family’s scorn and rejection, Gregor refuses to see them as anything but justified in their disappointment and anger towards him.

It’s a telling detail that neither Gregor nor his family wonder why or how he’s turned into an insect. Upon discovering his state, Gregor’s mother sobs and later faints, while his father reacts with great anger. However, they make no attempt to change him back. Gregor does want to find a “cure”, but must give up almost from the start, when he loses his ability to speak.

Once he’s unable to communicate, Gregor becomes a mere observer of the world around him. At the same time, this isolation evokes a series of startling revelations and actions from his parents and sister, triggered by their assumption that he can no longer understand what they say and their belief that he has lost all human traits.

Thus, the reader learns that Gregor has been supporting his family for years; that their apartment, their everyday sustenance, and their few luxuries (Grete’s fancy dresses and violin lessons) come from Gregor’s hard work. This explain’s Gregor’s distress at the prospect that he must “stay in bed being useless” (2752). However, a family meeting that Gregor overhears reveals that his parents have been hoarding money, and that they had decided to keep living off their son’s earnings for as long as they could.

Rather than being angry, Gregor is actually relieved that his family has “saved” money. He feels he has to show “every possible consideration,” and “help them bear the inconvenience which he simply had to cause them in his present condition” (2761). His parents, Gregor thinks, “were suffering enough as it was” (2763). All along, he believes he will be able to work again, that this is a temporary illness, and that life will eventually return to normal.

flash back

2009-12-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

初のフラッシュバック　2008年11月2日　2時ＡＭ
自分が万引きしたという　Ｆａｌｓｅ　Ｍｅｍｏｒｙを植えつけられたことがあるという話をＢａｓｓａｍにしていた直後のことだった。

いつのどの殴られた記憶なのかはさだかじゃない。でも初めてのときでもなければさいごの時でもなかったのはたしか。中学生の時だったと思う。めぐみさんがハイチかどこか南国の島に旅行に行ってかえってきた日のできごとだった。
いつもめぐみさんが長期どこかにいって帰ってくる日は朝から胃の調子が悪くなっていた。ふつうに過ごしているつもりでもめぐみさん不在の間わたしがおかしたかも知れない小さな罪たちが大罪となってめぐみさんの耳に入り、それに対しての罰をわたしは毎回めぐみさんが帰ってきた日に受けるのが恒例になっていたためだ。今回は平野さんが、それか大和田さんが、それとも健二君がいったい何をめぐみさんにつたえるのだろう。めぐみさんが居ない間いつも緊張している糸がゆるんでいるのが彼女の帰宅ともにいきなり無理やり引っ張られるためそのギャップと罰への恐怖から朝から胃が何かを予知しているかのようにわたしの中で暴れまくる。何かがおきるぞとおどしている。

その日もそんな胃の反乱を抱えながら学校から自転車で帰ってきた。
渡船所の窓の外からめぐみさんが中にいるのが見えた。南国から帰ってきたばかりなのが一目瞭然に肌は黒く焼けていて長くて黒い髪は編みこまれて髪の先にはピンクや赤や黄色のとりどりのプラスチック製のビーズがついていた。めぐみさんの表情は暗かった。その表情を見た瞬間、わたしの胃がまた一層騒ぎ始めた。

わたしが中に入った瞬間、めぐみさんの形相が鬼のようになったように一瞬見えた。’おまえちょっとこっちこい’　とわたしに渡船所の裏の小屋にくるように命じた。めぐみさんの後をついていくといきなり髪をひっぱられて床に倒された。ニスの塗られたヒノキの濃い木の色をした床がものすごい速さでわたしの目の前に近づいてきた。’お前　あたしがいない間にずいぶん調子に乗ってたんだってな’　髪の毛をひっぱられて床の上を引きずりまわされた。一瞬周りにおいてあったものとそのニスのきいたヒノキの床が回転した。

いったいどれくらいつづいたのか、そのあとどんなことをされたのかは憶えていない。でもくるくる視界が回っていたのを憶えてる。めぐみさんの髪についたビーズがぴょんぴょんと飛び跳ねる。黄色やピンクや赤色のビーズがわたしのことなんてどうでもいいように躍動していた。わたしはもうなにも感じていなかった。
お母さんを呼んだ。
お母さんをよんだ。
でもだれも返事をしなかった。

Ｆａｌｓｅ　Ｍｅｍｏｒｙ

ある朝大平さんの店に行った。　パンツとオーバーオールを買ったんだと思う。あさ一番の客だったため、わたし以外に客はいなかった。わたしは前から大平さんが嫌いだった。いないといいなと思っていたがやっぱりいた。「おはようございます」と言って、私はほしいものを手にとってそれ以上会話が続かないようにレジへ向かい、そのレジの人にお金を払って帰ってきた。

２，３日後、大平さんがうちにやってきた。「麻衣子ちゃんがうちで万引きをした」　「麻衣子ちゃん、ぼくを見たとき目をあわそうとしなかったから怪しいなと思って調べたら、商品も減ってるし、レジの人も麻衣子ちゃんがレジに来てないといった。」
わたしは’レシートの控えがレジにあるはずなのでそれを調べてください’と即座に言った。わたしはこれから起こるかもしれない事態に怯えていた。家の人はわたしを信じてくれるはずがない。なんとしてでもこの言いがかりをはっきりさせないとならなかった。でも大平さんは何時間か後に帰ってきて、控えは無かったといった。

まことちゃんにたたかれたのを憶えている。ひでくんもいた。渡船所の中のカウンターの前だった。夕方くらいだったのか、電気がついていたのも憶えてる。ここの床もカウンターもニスのきいた濃い色のヒノキだった。そのカウンターの前で正座をしていた。’まんびきしたんだろ’と　誠ちゃんはいう。わたしは’やっていない’と答えた。’やったんだからやったって言え’　やっていないと言うたびにたたかれた。どういうふうに叩かれたのかは憶えていない。平手だった気がする。痛かったのかも憶えていない。ただその場にいる自分がすごく恐ろしかった。これからどうなるのか分からない恐怖感と、まだその場に平野さんや大和田さん、そしてめぐみさんがいないことにわたしはホッとする微妙な安心感を感じていた。何分間かそういう状態が続いたあと、大平さんの店に連れていかれて、このカートから商品を取ってこのルートを歩いてここで大平さんに会ってこの出口から出て行った、と説明された。大平さんがわたしは絶対に盗ったと言った。家に帰るとめぐみさんがわたしが盗ったと認めるまで殴り続けると言った。だれに殴られたか憶えていない。でもわたしがお金を払った証拠はどこにも無かった。みんなが私は万引きしたと言った。わたしのお金を払ったという記憶もよく分からなくなっていた。細かく説明された盗った説の話がだんだんと本当のように思えてきていた。自分もだんだんわたしは万引きをしたのかもしれないと自分を疑いはじめていた。体のいたるところが痛みはじめてきた。この仕打ちはわたしがその罪を認めれば終わるんだと思いはじめると、自分が信じ始めてきた万引きをした　’記憶’　のほうが真実味を帯びてきたのをはっきりと感じた。わたしは万引きしたと言った。’やっぱりな、言ったとおりだ。　’なんですぐに認めないの?’　’なんでうそばっかりつくの？’’なんでそんなにてこずらすの？’　と言うたびまた殴ってきた。でもだれだったかは憶えていない。誠ちゃんだったような、でも平野さんだったかもしれない。

ひととおり終わった。自分の記憶もよくわからなくなっていた。でもやっぱり自分はとったんだろうと思い始めていた。

夜中布団のなかでまた考えていた。自分を信じたかった。一生懸命考えた。自分だけは自分を信じてあげたかった。
いや、やっぱりわたし盗ってない。盗ってない。信じてもらえないのか。でもこのままだとわたしはずっと万引きをしたと思われ続ける。わたしの事実が記憶とともにゆがんでいく。

外に出てみた。船長とめぐみさんの部屋には電気がついていた。
船長に話があると言った。
’わたし　やっぱり盗ってないの。絶対にとってないの。大平さんにもう一回レジ調べてっていってほしい。’

次の日、大平さんがやっぱりレジにレシートの控えがあったと言ってきた。麻衣子ちゃんにはごめんねと言っておいてと伝えたらしい。
わたしはすごくうれしい気持ちでいっぱいだったのを憶えている。

Our Old City, the Holy Land

2008-07-17T02:12:00.000-07:00

Late Friday night, July 11, shocking news broke the silence of the Old City of Jerusalem. Two Israeli police officers were shot and seriously injured near Lions Gate. All the gates were blocked for the next few hours and people outside the wall were thrown into a frenzy, not knowing what had happened inside. The incident was completely out of the ordinary because even if the world outside of the wall is in chaos, the Old City has always kept its serene atmosphere and has always provided a meditative and somewhat relaxing escape for visitors.

Whenever I walk the path on which I have left my footprints so many times, I immediately relax because my memories of the Old City always fit the scene before me: beige square rocks, long narrow paths, men playing cards or backgammon as they smoke water pipes, big red and blue-hued materials and colorful dresses and Bedouin crafts and jewelry. It is nothing has changed in hundreds of years and that is what makes the Old City so spiritual and comforting. This unique history since the 16th century can be credited to the different people who have lived here for generations.

An Armenian photograph shop owner Mr. Kevork on Al-Khanka Street in the Christian Quarter moved his shop to where it is now in 1948 when the Arab-Israeli War started. He has a wide collection of portraits and views of Palestine which were taken by his father and other photographers. His father started the business as a studio for portraits in 1913 on Jaffa Street which is now in west Jerusalem and he used to help his father as a young boy. In 1987, when he was cleaning the attic, he found 300 to 400 films of photographs that his father had taken as a hobby. After dating and categorizing them in 1990, Mr. Kevork and his father opened the first photo exhibition at the American Colony Hotel. The exhibition was widely received by visitors, and ever since, they have sold these photographs in their Old City studio. “All the photos in my store which were taken from 1924 and up are my father’s work, and others are photos of old times which could go back as far as the 1850s.” he told me proudly. He said that his photos are most appreciated by the foreigners who work in Jerusalem and elsewhere in the country.

An Assyrian merchant, Elie has three stores that sell Hebron ceramics, stamps and coins. Even though it is rare to see products priced in the Old City nowadays, he insists on putting prices on every piece. “I tell my customers to return the next day if they ask for a product with no price on it so I can find out the actual price.” He emphasizes that clearly priced products is the most important factor in selling to tourists. His prices are very reasonable and start from NIS 5 and up. He says his main goal is to sell these signature products of Palestine to as many people as possible.

His family, who were potters and originally came from Turkey around 1700, took their business globally. They first started by selling pots and handmade silk and distributing them in Aleppo, Damascus, Lebanon, and (west) Jerusalem with the main branch in Amman established in 1936. In 1955, they changed their products, mainly selling men’s shoes from England and Italy in those locations. Their business was successful, but in 1948, they had to shift the (west) Jerusalem branch to the current location because of the Israeli-Arab War. Finally, they had to close all their shops except the current three shops in the Old City in 1973 because the borders to neighboring countries became less accessible. When I asked Eli why he chose this store to focus on rather than the one in Amman since their main branch was already there, he said, “Because I was born in the Old City and love this place, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.” He took over the business from his father in 1964 but says the Old City has always been the same, with the different ethnic groups coexisting and much less political violence than in other areas of Palestine. However, since the dependency on tourism is so high among the merchants in the Old City, the unstable political condition has affected all business owners here. During the years of the Intifada, there were many Israeli-imposed curfews which dictated that they open their stores for only a few hours a day. During those hours, the foreigners who worked for the United Nations, NGOs, or embassies were the only customers, making it very difficult to sustain their businesses.

It seems that surviving outside the wall of the Old City is even harder. A Palestinian jewelry designer shop owner, Samir has been in the business for over 45 years in the Old City. In the first 25 years, he had a store in the same neighborhood as today near the New Gate, but his business later expanded to include souvenirs and jewelry and he moved to a bigger location in the Jerusalem Central Bus Station in west Jerusalem. His business was successful until 2000, but when the Intifada broke out and tourism declined, he couldn’t afford to keep the store open. He re-opened a store in the Old City and returned to exclusively selling jewelry. Samir feels much more comfortable being in the Old City where he was born and grew up in. He believes that the comfort comes from the familiarity of the environment and people surrounding him. “Everyone helps each other here,” he said as he bent a wire for an earring. “We all grew up together here and have known each other all our lives. There are strong connections between us.”

Perhaps this “connection” and the people’s closeness is what make the Old City so alive. It perhaps is rooted in people’s will to survive and sustain since 1541 when the walls of the city were first built. The spirituality of this holy place is felt, not only by religious followers but all those who enjoy and appreciate history and deep-rooted cultures. The different peoples of the Holy Land are what give this place such a unique and spiritual color.

Lost Identity

2008-07-08T06:38:00.001-07:00

Lost Identity
By Maiko Sato for MIFTAH
http://www.miftah.org/
Every time I come through the border to enter Israel, my stress levels reach their highest. Even though I have done nothing to harm anyone nor have I committed any crimes, because I am a returning Palestinian, I fear the possibility of being refused entry into my own country and hence I am plagued with a feeling of guilt. This guilty feeling is triggered by the experience I had at the border in 2004. I was issued an entrance visa valid for only one week even though I claimed that I needed a decent amount of time to visit my family. Of course, the Israelis don’t need to give me any means of justification for their actions. They just make you feel as if you have done something wrong.

This time, I was only afraid of the duration of my stay - whether they would give me the customary three months entry visa in my capacity as a Japanese citizen. I had not expected at all that I would be denied entry. Shockingly enough, the border control officers said I needed a so called 'returning-visa' to enter Israel given that I also hold a Jerusalem ID.

I had heard of an increasing number of tourists denied entry into Israel. According to a Haaretz report on June 15, the number of tourists denied entry in 2007 rose to 2,941 cases, an increase of 60% compared to 2005 in which there were 1,828 cases. However, I had never expected that Israeli immigration officers would deny a person entry for not having a visa to return to one’s own country, the place where I was born. I was sent back and told to go to the Israeli embassy to wait for a response from the foreign affairs office. After a week or so in Egypt, I received a phone call indicating that my Jerusalem residence ID number had been canceled and that I could only enter Israel as a tourist.
After entering my own country as a Japanese tourist, I began to hear several stories similar to my own. Other people's stories made me realize that the revocation of residency rights in east Jerusalem is not as uncommon as it used to be. According to B'tselem, the Israeli Information Center for Human Rights in the Occupied Territories, the number of residents in east Jerusalem who had their Jerusalem IDs revoked in 2006 reached an all time high at 1,363. This is more than six times the case than 2005 when the number was 222.
For many east Jerusalemites, this residency card is their only form of identification. While it allows them to move freely within the country, it does not constitute citizenship. Contrarily, every Jew, even immigrants who had never been to Israel before are eligible for citizenship automatically. While this is racist enough, what is worse is that this residency card is constantly under the risk of confiscation.
So-called "un-identifiable" residency within Jerusalem is the most common reason for revocation. That is, if the ID holder cannot prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that they hold their center of life within Jerusalem's borders.
Between1996 and1999 when the government was under the extreme right former Prime Minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, 3,008 east Jerusalemites were victims of ID revocation. After those four years, the number of revoked ID cards per year oscillated between 200 and 270 but in 2006, it rose to over 1300, the highest number in history.
The Israeli ministry of foreign affairs claims there is no specific reason for the increase in ID card cancellation except that the interior ministry and immigration office have become more active than before. I only wish they would give me a legitimate answer or justification to this simple question: “Why have our residency rights been revoked?”
Permanent or temporary migration to foreign countries (of course, this includes the West Bank) is cited by Israel as one justification for ID revocation. Still, if the rise in this migration is caused by the deterioration in living standards because of the separation wall that has strangled Jerusalem, which is very likely and reasonable, then it is practically a forced exclusion under the false pretense of “free will.” Once we leave by our own “free-will,” we are then not welcomed back, even as tourists. To me, conditional freedom is not freedom at all.
Besides this “free will”, the high birth rate among Arab Palestinians is arguably a major reason for this rapid rise in ID revocation. Israel's leaders are concerned about the growing gap in the Jew-to-Arab ratio within the country because of the higher population growth rate among Palestinians. Hence Israel, they fear, may soon become an ‘Arab state.’ However, the fertility rate of Arabs is declining while that of Jews has risen in recent years, according to an article published in Haaretz on June 2. The birth rate among Arabs was 4.3 children and 3.7 children among Jews in 2000, while the rate was four children and 3.9 children respectively in 2006. Also, the growth rate of the Arab-Palestinian population is slowing down - from 3.3% in 1999 to 2.5% in 2006. Could the rise in Jewish birth rates somehow help east Jerusalemites keep their residency rights?

The most disturbing aspect of this to me, however, is that Israel is taking away the sole and only proof of identification for east Jerusalemites, who are neither Israeli nor Palestinian citizens. Their blue-backed ID card is the sole indication of their presence as Palestinian residents of Jerusalem. Revoking these ID cards not only means losing a piece of paper, but losing an important human dimension of their identity.

Enemy of enemy are friends??? or friends of enemy are enemy??http://www.miftah.org/Display.cfm?DocId=17272&CategoryId=13

2008-07-05T03:32:00.000-07:00

http://www.miftah.org/Display.cfm?DocId=17272&CategoryId=13

http://www.palestinechronicle.com/view_article_details.php?id=13934

“Whenever Pharaoh wanted to prolong the period of slavery in Egypt, he had a favorite, favorite formula for doing it. What was that? He kept the slaves fighting among themselves. But whenever the slaves get together, something happens in Pharaoh's court, and he cannot hold the slaves in slavery. When the slaves get together, that's the beginning of getting out of slavery. Now let us maintain unity,” opined Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in [I see the Promised Land, April 3, 1968]
What are the obstacles to Palestinian unification? If there are inequalities or disadvantages experienced by a certain group, then this could cause feelings of hostility towards the others thus feeding straight into the occupiers' hands. By considering some of your own people as "hostile parties", you are falling into the trap and making yourself easier to be controlled. As an outsider, but also as a Palestinian, I am often reminded of the abovementioned quote by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Without unification, how can we achieve solidarity?
As I walked through the Muslim Quarter of the Old City of Jerusalem, I had a chance to talk to a middle-aged man who works for a hotel in the area. While we were talking about how the West Bank and East Jerusalem have changed in recent years, he calmly said he feels Christians in Jerusalem are clearly more advantaged than Muslims in the city.
He complained that all the residents in the Christian quarter apply and easily gain Israeli citizenship while residents of the Muslim Quarter have many more obstacles in their way. The truth is this it is not really the case. There may be many Christians who have Israeli citizenship, but there are many more permanent resident holders than citizens in the Christian Quarter, similar to those in the Muslim Quarter.
This man may have been slightly exaggerating, but nevertheless, it does seem in general that people from the Muslim community think of Christians as more advantaged than themselves. For example, Christians who have a West Bank ID can apply for permission to enter Israel on every Christian holiday and some of them are valid for 40 days. On the other hand, Muslim West Bankers aren't allowed permission as frequently, and even if they are, the duration is only for a few days. Another Muslim man said to me that Israel is trying to win Christians over to their side and would then eventually turn on Muslim Palestinians. Whether this fear is valid or not, the fact that there is some level of distrust amongst each other means this could possibly spread between them and escalate into hostility.
As I see it, the Christian community, which is considered the more privileged party, is not an exception in this cycle of distrust. I have met a number of Christians in Palestine who do not fully trust other religious groups in their society. There are even those who do not like their children to mingle with Muslim kids and vice versa. Some Christians complain that Muslims hire only Muslims in their companies while Muslims make the same allegations. The cycle of distrust is always reciprocal.
Another obstacle towards reaching a unified and harmonious society is the physical separation. The wall Israel has built along and inside the West Bank has clearly separated thousands of Palestinians whereby people living in different areas have started developing individually. I was completely astonished to see the change and liveliness of Ramallah this time compared to my last visit to Palestine four years ago. At the same time, some towns I visited like Jericho, Bethlehem and Qalandia weren't much different. I often hear about the Hamas-Fatah conflict in Gaza, but people talk about it as if it were a civil war in another country. Of course, since Gaza seems so far away because it is not accessible – completely closed off to other Palestinian areas and to the outside world - and we only depend on the media for information about the situation, perhaps I should not be so critical about how we live our daily lives “separated” from our people in Gaza. Still, I just can’t help but think that this is one more trap we fell in which has only made it easier for Israel to control us.
It seems only natural to follow the path that has already been paved for us. Passivity may be easier than questioning and changing what is already there. But if we ourselves don’t step back and try to realize that we are clutching at our own necks, we can end up harming ourselves. From the observations of people in Palestine, I strongly believe we need understanding between each other before we attempt to achieve this with others. Let us take our cue from the ancient Egyptian slaves – only when they united could they fend off the pharaoh's evil schemes. We should not allow Israel - this modern day pharaoh – to manipulate us.

Discussion

2008-04-30T05:13:00.000-07:00

I find it meaningless having discussion or debate among homogenius people. Especially when you talk about issues or insults that happen among certain type of ethnicity , culture, or religion, we need to make sure those people who are perceived to be from the issue maker side or insulting group. Otherwise the discussion is nothing more than licking each other's wounds (Japanese proverb).

Where are you from? (in a sense of where do you belong to?)

2008-04-02T06:37:00.001-07:00

I am wondering... I am wondering so much about what is so important to talk about or to be so conscious about where you are from.

I am from Jerusalem, Palestine and from Sapporo, Japan. But does that mean I know so much about those two, or does that mean I am the same as people from Jerusalem and from Sapporo? what does that mean to say I am from here or there. I am Palestinian in what sense? I am Japanese in what sense? Am I different from an Israeli from Jerusalem? Could I have same ideology as Israeli from Jerusalem does? Palestinians are so different from Palestinians?

I have a frined who is an Israeli from Jerusalem. We talked about the protest that I had gone about two weeks ago (protest against fundraising for Israeli Occupation Force). I asked him if he would be offended to know that I join that kind of protest against the cause. He said "You do your job and I do my job". It's reasonable, but I felt very sad.

I have a frind who is an Israeli-Japanese (her father is Iraqi Jew and the mother is Japanese) and was born and raised in Jerusalem. We talked about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. We found that we have very similar pacifistic idea. By talking to her, I had to wonder why is coexisting so difficult...

I have a Palestinian friend who does not accept the existence of Israel. There are Israelis who don't accept that Palestine ever existed. I have a Palestinian friend who wants to say he is an Israeli and not Palestinian. I know some Palestinians and Israelis who don't even care about the cause.

We, Palestinians and Israelis, share a lot of culture already. What is so important about finding out hummus is whether Israeli cuisine or Arabic cuisine? Some people complaint about Greeks claiming baklavah to be Greek while it is Turkish to them. Some other people claim that belly dance and hookah are Egyptian while others say they are from Turky.

Saying where you are from is just for an estimate for the other person to imagine what kind of life you have had or what kind of bahavior and attitude you would have. People have all kinds of stereotypes for all kinds of people. I don't deny the fact that many Palestinians often say 'what's his name?" even when he knows what's his name, or the fact that Japanese people vow to aplogyze and to thank in the same way. But there are many exceptions, and you probably see the people who don't follow those stereotypes nowadays than before. Because in our generation, people travel everywhere, immigrate to one another and get married to different cultures. Then what is the point of expressing where you are from or asking where he/she is originated from?

People may say, "you are just in the stage of identity crisis." Is that only so? Is that a part of human nature that we all want the sense of belonging? "I belong to here and belong to there, and so I am comfortable." Am I questioning myself because I don't have that sense of belonging?

I wonder where is the importance of that sense of belonging coming from. All I know is that if anyone ask me tomorrow where I am from, I will still say " I am from Japan and Palestine" wondering what is the point...

The Band's Visit

2008-03-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to watch a movie with my lovely friends, Elif and Timucin, called 'The Band's Visit'
by Eran Kolirin. www.thebandsvisit.com
It is about one Egyptian police orchestra band who got lost in Israel after they were invited to perform in one town in Israel called "Petah Tikvah", and the story of a night that they spent in a village called ''Bait hatikva". (Because most Arabs don't know how to pronounce 'P', they ended up arriving in this village by asking bus information center how to get 'P(B)etah Tikvah'.)
Though the movie was filled with humor, the story had a beautiful stream and harmony of two cultures, human nature and art creations.
I highly recommend this movie.

p.s. I just cut my hair, and the actress of the movie (Ronit Elkavetz) made me regret that I had one.... She ( and her hair) was awesome in the movie.

Big Citiy Lights (Here I Come)

2008-03-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

Performed by Shingo2
Produced by Yakkle
Remixed by Tokimonsta
Scratches by DnZ
Photograph by me
www.e22.com/bcl/dl.htm

Blogging ? Me?

2008-03-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

So, after some talks with a few of my friends who have been blogging and had found the significance in blogging, I have finally decided to let myself join the virtual world.

Please send me any kind of tips, suggestions and etc.... to improve my account.